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“When you pray for help, duck and fasten your seat-belts because it’s going to hit the fan and you’re in for a bumpy ride”



Taking the decision and making the commitment to heal any aspect of your life that is clearly making you miserable and suffocating your joy, may just be the bravest, most challenging, frustrating and sometimes painful step you will take along your sacred journey through this life, and yet when you come through it all, it is by far the most rewarding too.

 Why have I been compelled to write about such a seemingly ‘’heavy’’ subject? The answer is very simple: Aside from my own personal healing experience, it’s the desperate look in my client’s eyes, the sadness carved in their faces and their obvious frustration when they are working so hard, doing everything they need to do but instead of positive results, at times there is more ‘’bad” than good unfolding. “why?” they ask me – why am I not healing, why is it that every time I put my head down and work at this, more muck comes my way… life sucks!  Yes indeed it can and sometimes it does and the only reason I know the answer to their questions is because I asked them a gazillion times myself until I received it from above.

If you are driving along the road, trying to get from point A to point B, and there are big boulders blocking your way, they have to be removed so that you can move forward and reach your destination – your goal. It’s the removing and sometimes having to blast these boulders into oblivion that cause the pain, the frustration and create the temptation to make a u-turn. The expression “God helps those who help themselves” strongly applies here. Taking complete control and responsibility for your own sacred and spiritual journey is not for sissies. You can’t wear blinkers and declare that everything going on is simply God's will and therefore your lot in life, or the devil is holding you back or made you do it. It’s all on you – taking full responsibility for your free will choices, and decisions that will create your outcomes – good or bad, now and in the future – the buck stops with you.


One of the biggest challenges you will be faced with is fighting the desire to give up and rather go back into the old comfort zone where things may not be how you wish them to be, but at least you know what to expect so there is little confusion to experience and the bar of your expectations is already lowered anyway. 

If one attempts to re-build upon a pile of baggage, it will eventually topple over and the outcome is inevitable – more pain to work through, more boulders in the way and less time to do it in.

If you have just, or never embarked on this particular leg of your journey, you may wonder why anyone would be crazy enough to want to give up, but the simple truth is that when you find yourself feeling completely alone and abandoned in that dark arid desert, where nothing seems to work, you feel disconnected from Source and things seem to only get worse, the temptation to get the heck out of dodge and go back to the deceptively warm embrace of your “past” life, beckons loudly even if it means spending everyday laden with unnecessary baggage that weighs you down and imprisons your heart and soul. 


Personally, I wanted to give up many a time and would roll up in a ball and beg my Creator to make it stop, or take me home. Sadly I know some who have and continue to bump their head against the same old wall, or they stop as soon as it gets too tough, because to continue through can seem unbearable at times. 

At one stage my mantra became “God hates me” – I know!!! My mom, bless her heart, got so mad at me when she overheard me saying that, and she was absolutely right because the truth is, I hated me.


From personal experience and from the many times I have had the privilege of facilitating and walking alongside my clients through their own healing process, the single most important lesson I have learnt is that it takes time, effort and commitment. There is no magic wand or potion and there most definitely isn’t a quick fix and the only secret to your success lies in doing the work and a whole lot of shovelling. Things will most certainly always get worse before they get better as you proceed to remove layer after layer of stuff you have carried around for generations and perhaps even lifetimes that need discarding. 


My intention through sharing my own personal experience is that it will inspire, motivate and encourage any of you who are willing to do the hard work it takes to heal your lives, rather than discourage or dissuade you; and also to express how important it is that you have some understanding and clarity that for the most part it won’t be easy and the airy fairy rose-tinted glasses have to come off because it’s time to get real.


 At times you may find yourself frantically hopping from therapist, to healer, to physic to astrologer, to books, seminars, workshops etc etc etc and even grasping at many a straw along the way. Round and round, hoping that something will flick the magic switch and all will be sorted but then blaming them or assuming they are useless, not being helpful or effective because nothing seems to be working so you may as well give up on all the “hocus- pocus” nonsense and accept instead that this is just the way it is for you – and yep, that God must hate you.

 

It is precisely during these moments of seeming defeat when you feel its time to throw in the towel and accept that perhaps your lot in life is to be miserable, that you need to stop, take a breath and go back to the drawing board and do a little exercise by connecting the dots till you begin to see all the shifts – big or small – that have occurred from the day you took that first important step. 

How many outdated issues, relationships, careers or choices even have you dismantled? How many patterns have you acknowledged and broken? How many of those boulders have you blown up? And when you go within and bypass the bruised ego, how do you feel about yourself now – the true, authentic you beginning to emerge?

 All the tiny steps you took all; the treatments and consultations you had made a significant dent in the armour you carried around and created the shifts to facilitate the next step – whether the experience was positive or negative.

 

You will most certainly come across charlatans along the way as they can pick up the scent of desperation more sharply than a blood hound, therefore it is prudent to be discerning about the people you choose to facilitate or take counsel from. Listen to, and trust that intuitive inner voice and you will always be guided to choose wisely. 

Connect with people who a real, who get it, who understand from experience that real life is not only about affirmation or prayer and most of all that have solid life experience under their belt to draw from. Affirmations are facilitator’s in their own right and appropriate, but one has to participate in the process for them to work, just as prayer does. 

 The answer to your prayers manifests through your participation to allow them to manifest for your highest good and not necessarily the way you would like hence the expression “hidden blessings”. At times affirmations can actually create blocks because you may be affirming for one thing, but your highest good is for something else therefore do not outline your affirmations, leave them open-ended so to speak so that you may manifest what the Universe already knows is right for you, but can’t deliver because your focus is elsewhere.

Appreciate and give thanks for all the support you've received because you have not been alone even if it seemed that way and most of all acknowledge everything you have learnt about yourself along the way. To know who you are, first you have to know who you aren't and every experience is your mirror that allows you to find yourself. Have your day-long pity party and invite all your saboteurs, then get back out there tomorrow and keep going, because the outcome and rewards will outweigh any of the trauma and drama you left behind. 

In the end, most of what we experience and how we experience it boils down to our perception and because most of the stuff we are working through will involve other people in our lives, we need to take a stroll in someone else’s shoes at times, no matter how uncomfortable, because they too have; and are operating from the basis of their own perspective -

Two men looked out through the same prison bars….......

the one saw mud, and the other saw stars 

~ Anon ~


 Being strong-willed, one of the toughest lessons for me was to accept during my intense healing period was to accept that sometimes I had to hear what I needed to hear rather than what I wanted to hear. Another really tough one was to be brave enough to ask certain important questions, while intuitively already knowing I would not get the answer I desired. The third and most annoying for me was hearing the word patience, because that one kept rearing its head at me when I felt frustrated at the snails pace of my progress to the point that I detested the word.


 It took me a good 20 years of hard slog and some amazing facilitators and earth angels to get to the point in my life whereas I now only need to work on the nitty-gritty issues that come to the surface and mostly these are the residue from the bigger ones I dealt with – a final layer to be peeled off. 

Okay so I can almost hear your heels screeching to a halt and I don’t think you actually read anything after “20 years” Relax, and take a breath! It doesn't take everyone that long to heal. I chose to pile it all on and plough through it all as quickly as possible because other than being tired of clawing my way through life, as a therapist, I wanted to work with confidence so that I never found myself feeling like a fake when advising a client to take certain steps when I had not yet worked on the same or similar issue myself and therefore it became a case of healer, heal thy self and stop the dilly-dally procrastination because time waits for no man, or woman.

No-one can heal you or your life, not the best or most renowned and experienced healers or therapists can heal you and neither can they do the work for you. All they can do is facilitate and help you through your process by whatever method they are qualified to do and to the best of their ability, as well as give you the guidance, encouragement and support you need. Sometimes they have to be tough on you too – give you a Buddha slap as my friend Dominique used to tell me she needed from me when she felt stuck. We all need a Buddha slap once in a while – mostly whilst in the throws of a pity-party. 


Ultimately, however, the healing is between you and your Creator and most of all it comes down to your own willingness and commitment to participate, to roll up your sleeves and do the work combined with an open acceptance of mind and heart to receive the Divine gift of healing through your facilitator(s) so that you can begin living a joyful life just the way God intended. 

The first issue that needs to be addressed in most people is in their believing that they deserve to receive. If unconsciously you don’t believe you truly deserve to heal, and re-build a better life for yourself then you may as well give up now or take the long scenic route to your destination. access-consciousness.php teaches us that the Universe is always gifting; but it is our inability to receive and the open-hearted acceptance of how it will show up, that holds us back from manifesting and creating the kind of life we desire.

 Once upon a time there was a flood, the water was rising rapidly and a very religious man having complete faith in God, prayed and prayed to be rescued. The water kept rising, but holding on to his faith, he got up onto his roof. A group of people can along in a boat and called to him to jump in “No thank you, he said, I have prayed and I know that God will rescue me”. The water kept rising…. Another group of people in a boat came along and called to him to jump in. “No thank you, he said, I have prayed and I know that God will rescue me”…. Eventually his house was completely submerged and only the roof was above water – he continued to pray and hold onto his faith. A helicopter came along and threw down a ladder and called to him to climb up – you guessed it, his answer was the same “God will save me”. Needless to say the man drowned and when he arrived in Heaven he felt perplexed and disgruntled and asked God why it was that he who had so much faith and prayed believing he would be rescued, had drowned in that flood? Why did God not rescue him? God’s reply was “My dear child, I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?”


Some will go through their healing process less painfully than others; some have more to work on than others, and others will simply choose to pace themselves. Either way keep in mind that your experience is uniquely yours and you have the free will choice to proceed however you wish. No-one else can dictate how, how hard or how long it will take. You are the master of your own destiny so trust in your God-given innate ability to succeed. 

As the reader, all I can offer you is by sharing my own experience and a few tips to help you along the way if you decide to take this vital step of healing your life.

  • Be gentle with yourself – Rome wasn't built in a day and you do not need to suffer in order to heal and your healing will not be more profound because of deeper suffering…
  • Surround yourself with gentle, supportive people and allow yourself to lean on them - there will be plenty of time to reciprocate in the future when they need to lean on you…
  • There are earth angels all around you, begin to notice and reach out to them – you have never been expected to go it alone…
  • Journal as often as you can – you will be amazed at the insights you receive while doing so and include a daily gratitude list….
  • Have as many day-long pity party’s as you need but don’t over-stay your welcome – tomorrow is a new day…..
  • Take it in your stride and go with the flow, but throwing the occasional toy is healthy too… just don’t aim it at someone’s head – that would be bad….
  • Put your rose-tinted glasses in a box together with the magic potion and leave them there till you need a prop for a fancy dress party…
  • Be brutally honest with yourself but with kindness not judgement and then work towards making the necessary changes….
  • Be mindful and keep your saboteurs at arms length – sometimes we can be our own worst enemy….
  • Throw away that tired old stick you've been beating yourself up with for years – it serves no purpose other than to demean you…. 
  • Even if not always gracious, always be grateful and acknowledge all you have achieved and learnt step by step and that even the negatives have been gifts and teachers…..

 Namaste and many Blessings along your Sacred Journey

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